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Article: Rock Bottom

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." --J.K. Rowling What do you call the stage of unconsciousness just before you become aware of the true reality of your personal situation? It's the time when you are still living in a miasma of cultural conditioning, trying to drown out your inner voice that is begging for change. It's the time when it begins to dawn on you that something is terribly wrong with the way you have been living.  Can we call it 'hitting rock bottom'? When do we hit rock bottom? Is it when our partner humiliates and abuses us for the 100th time? Is it when the cops are called to the house for the 10th time because of domestic violence? Is it when we nearly kill ourselves in a car wreck because of drunk driving? Is it when we are so drunk that we stumble and fall into the street and have to scramble on all fours to get to safety? Is it when our partner leaves with the kids after we've promised to get clean from drugs, but we've relapsed for the 10th time?  Getting to rock bottom is different for everyone, yet no matter what the cause, it has the same effect on us. We are taken to a place where we say, No More! No more suffering in the way that we have gotten used to, sometimes for decades. No more allowing drugs, alcohol, and other addictions to numb us so that we can't hear what our inner voice is trying to tell us. No more allowing others to trigger us so that we lash out in anger and frustration. This is serious business.  So, at rock bottom, we know that we can't continue the way we have been living, and we are just beginning to emerge from a space of deep suffering. Often, we blame others for our misery and can't see the role that we, ourselves, have played in the unhealthy relationship or situation.  To realize that our life isn't working, our relationship, or the drugs and alcohol aren't working, takes courage. The question is: How much anguish are we willing to put up with, and how much are we going to let the people around us suffer along with us? Once we remove ourselves from the place of pain, the relationship or situation that has caused us so much suffering, we begin to heal. Once we are in a more stable, healthy space, we can begin to reflect on how we may have contributed to the problem. Maybe we disliked ourselves and attracted someone or people into our life who reflected that back to us by disrespecting and mistreating us. Perhaps we felt that in some way we deserved to be abused. Or maybe we have been masking unhealed childhood trauma with drugs and alcohol and haven't been real and up-front with our spouse and children about what needs to heal. That's when we take the first step and move from rock bottom to awareness. And awareness is an essential part on the road toward healing. Awareness means that we become conscious of our effect on others and their effect on us. Once we become conscious of how we got ourselves into that relationship or situation, we can work on healing that part of ourselves. © Erika Marie Rose and Good Vibes, 2018

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