Head Talk

Head Talk

In my meditation today, I was reminded of the times that I listened to my head instead of following my heart, and I heard the words, 'Head Talk'. I understand this message to mean that it's important for me to follow my heart when I have to make a big decision.

I recall the times that I made a critical decision based solely on what my logical mind was telling me, and things did not turn out well for me in the end. I could hear my inner voice sending me messages, but I chose to ignore what my heart had to say.

I remember when I was planning to get married the first time, and we were making plans for the wedding and our life together, everything sounded so rosy. But, in quiet moments, I could hear my inner voice asking me to think about what it would mean to give up my job and my income to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. There was a nagging red flag that would pop up and nudge me into thinking that in order to keep my independence, individuality, and integrity, I needed to have some income of my own.

But, I would squelch those red flags and tell myself everything would work out just fine.

When my heart asked me if I would really be able make my husband happy and take him out of his depressive moods, I totally ignored my intuition, and pushed any thoughts of spending the rest of my life with a depressed person far away. I thought it would just take some work on my part, and I'd be able to make my husband a happy man.

So, despite the red flags popping up about the upcoming marriage, I went ahead with the plans because the course seemed to be pretty much set, and I didn't want to upset anyone. My head said everything would work out just fine, and it would be cruel to break off the wedding. So, I went ahead with it.

I spent 25 years in that marriage trying desperately to gain some kind of financial independence, but my husband was against it. He thwarted all of my ideas for establishing a business or getting training. I also spent all those years trying to make my husband happy, and guess what! It didn't work. After 25 years, I finally realized that only he could make himself happy.

Now, when have to make a big decision, I pay a lot of attention to what my heart has to say.

© Erika Marie Rose and Good Vibes, 2019