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4 Steps to Owning Your Life

When we feel that we are at the mercy of life circumstances or others' moods, we can feel powerless and victimized. We may think that life is against us, unpleasant things happen to us, and we have no control over our life. This can make us feel like a victim, giving away the responsibility each one of us has for himself/herself. When we are in the victim state of mind, we expect others to take care of our problems for us, and in doing so, we disempower ourselves.

With the disempowering energy of victimhood comes a whole slew of negative feelings and states of mind, such as anger, resentment, blame, criticism, judgement, and guilt. Our sense of self-esteem is low because we are giving others power over us. If we continue through life fostering these low vibrational thoughts and emotions, they can eventually affect our energy body, and in turn our physical body in adverse ways. Some people spend their whole life seeing themselves as victims, attracting one negative, disempowering experience after another.

How can we get our self-esteem and personal power back?

The first step -- even before acknowledging that we have given away control over our life -- is realizing that we are no longer willing to tolerate circumstances the way they are. Whether we are in an abusive relationship, a dead-end job, or we feel the need to make others happy while ignoring our own needs, at some point we are going to be so fed up with the situation, that we know something has to change. The sense of never, ever wanting to feel this way again is what gives us the impetus to move forward.

The second step is to become an observer of the detrimental circumstances. See if you can find patterns. How do the people and situations make you feel? Do you feel powerless? How do you react? Do you resent and blame others? Take a step back and question your beliefs and actions. Try to see the situation realistically, and from that a shift towards healthy growth begins.

The third step is to realize what our role has been in these situations and relationships. How did we get ourselves into this mess in the first place? We might realize that through a past, unhealthy view of ourselves, we may well have attracted that unbalanced person, that frustrating job, or that demeaning situation into our life.

After completing the first three steps, there is a significant energy shift, away from victimhood and towards personal empowerment. It feels as if a heavy weight has been taken off our shoulders. We are lighter, as we make room for the higher vibrational energy of respecting ourselves and honoring our boundaries.

Step four of the self-empowerment process is realizing that each one of us needs to take full responsibility for his/her life. If there is something we no longer want to tolerate, we need to take the reins into our own hands and make that change for ourselves.

When we take charge of our life and make decisions for our own highest good, we are acting out of a place of self-love. This brings about an internal shift into a healthier, higher vibration, and we begin to attract healthy, balanced people and situations into our life. When we take responsibility for our decisions, we don't give our power away. We know that we own our life, and we don't see ourselves as victims anymore. We no longer cast blame, feel guilty, or harbor resentment towards others.

We all have beautiful gifts to share, and we aren't doing anyone a favor by playing small.

© Erika Marie Rose and Good Vibes, 2019

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